Alejandro Sanz talks about how he overcame his mental health problems: “At some point I felt like I didn’t want to continue, I wanted to disappear”

“I’m working to make it go away, I’ll get to the stage and something inside me will tell me what to do. But sometimes I literally don’t even want to be there. I just want to be honest, not to get into the useless noise. I know there are people who feel this way. If it helps, I feel the same way,” the publication continued.

After venting, he went to bed without much idea that the next day his message would make headlines around the world and would worry many of his followers. Around that time, the end of his relationship with the Cuban artist would also be news. Rachel Valdes.

Although he has experienced difficult times before, the singer of hits like “My favorite person” and “When nobody sees me” has distinguished himself by being discreet personally during his three-decade career.

A year after that moment of vulnerability, after surrounding himself “with the right people” and working in therapy, he affirms that he is in a new stage in your life.

He began working with Sony, a label with which he will soon release a new album, after breaking up with Universal Music. And this Friday he published a single, “Palm trees in the Garden”in which he precisely talks about his separation from Valdés.

In the ballad, with a subtle melody, the artist wonders what he did wrong in the relationship and describes how he changed his “world” to resemble that of the other person, who, anyway, decided to end the relationship.

I turned my world around / So that it would look like you / But no matter how many palm trees we plant in the garden / This will never be Havana, I will always be Madrid

For the song he also recorded a video clip that featured the art direction of Puerto Rican René Pérez.

In the context of the premiere of his new single, Sanz spoke with BBC Mundo about those difficult moments and how he “expels” the pain with music.

I must apologize for bringing up this topic, but because of the lyrics of your new song, “Palmeras en el Jardín”, it seems inevitable to me. It seems like an autographic single, which refers to your former relationship with the Cuban artist Rachel Valdés. Were you inspired by that?

Music that is not autobiographical is missing something. It is important to express ourselves through music, which is our way of freeing ourselves. In this song perhaps it is very evident. When I made it, I wondered if I should put it out that way, but then I decided to do it because it was the most honest thing to do.

And why be so direct and not a little more metaphorical like other times?

When I wrote it I was feeling like that. It seemed to me that I needed to let it go, expel it.

You have said that this new song, which will be part of an album that will be released soon, represents a new stage in your career. What does that mean?

It has been two years of preparation with a very great team. My career at Universal Music ended and a new stage at Sony began, with a new team.

There was a point in my life when I had lost the enthusiasm for composing, for music and motivation in general. I couldn’t find inspiration. Meeting again with people who talk to me about music, and dedicating all my heart and mind to creation, for me was an explosion of springs.

I discovered new people with whom I communicate when working and that has made me compose in a different way.

You mention that you had lost your hope. This new stage arises after going through complicated challenges with your mental health.

We are all affected by the issue of mental health, especially after the pandemic, when it hit many people harder. It may also be that we are more aware of the importance of taking care of our emotions. Even though I knew that the place where I am happiest is on stage, at some point I felt like I didn’t want to continue, I wanted to simply not be there, to disappear, for no one to talk to me or see me.

But the people I was working with taught me the importance of surrounding yourself with people who love you. Also the importance of not isolating yourself, of leaving the house.

They are complicated stages. Each person is different and mental health problems affect each one of us differently. There is no exact formula to be well, but with a lot of effort you can get out of almost anything.

What implications did talking openly about mental health bring?

I didn’t know the impact it would have, not only on others, but also on me. When I published it (the comment on social media about his mental health) I went to sleep and the next day I realized that it had exploded everywhere. The reaction scared me, because I felt watched and I questioned what I did. That’s why the next day I shared that I was fine. But I also didn’t want anyone to see me.

Talking about it publicly helped me make decisions, like setting limits. For example, when I want or don’t want to see someone. I didn’t set limits, I was always aware of meeting everyone’s expectations except mine.

It is important to give yourself priority.

You made the video clip for “Palmeras en el Jardín” with René Pérez. How did this collaboration come about and what was the experience of working with him like?

Residente is currently one of the most talented guys in music and in the world of cinema, where he is starting out. I saw the latest videos he made, and I realized what gifts he has.

I didn’t want the video to tell a corny story of heartbreak, but rather for it to have the importance that I give to the lyrics. That it was the same language, harsh or grotesque if you want to put it that way.

You were recently recognized with the Billboard Award for Artistic Career. You have the most important awards in the music industry and even two Honoris Causa doctorates. I wonder, what do awards mean to you at this point in your career?

I believe that in this life there is a connection between the results of the things you do and gratitude for what you achieve.

You don’t work for awards, but when you receive them, you are grateful. I’m not one of those who say they put the prizes in the bathroom. I look for a place where they can be seen, and where they have all the respect and the place of recognition that they have given you with love.

Throughout your career you have committed yourself to various social causes. You even said a while ago that you would look to reduce the Co2 footprint of your concerts. I wonder how this initiative is going, but also what you think of the artists who decide to stay out of the problems that society is experiencing.

At the moment, it is optional, although it should be mandatory at some point. Staying away from these types of problems is not a good idea. Until we are all aware, we are going down the wrong path.

We have planted many trees to offset the Co2 footprint of the concerts. And we have more projects in that direction.

It has become very politicized. Before this problem did not exist, we all agreed that climate change was beyond discussion. Now, if you have a theory, you are on one side (politically) and if you don’t, you are on the other.

I still think that climate change is a serious problem. I think it is also very obvious. You can deny it all you want, but it’s not going to change the fate of the planet.

Whatever you call me, we may think that the Earth is flat, but there is nothing we can do about it. I will continue defending this as I have for 25 years.

We have to take care of the planet, we have no other.

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