The sudden death of Liam Payneformer member of the popular band One Directionshocked the world. On Wednesday, the artist was found dead after falling from the third floor of the Hotel Casa Sur in Palermo, Buenos Aires. Of 31 yearsthe artist had dealt with a complex health history, which included kidney problems since his premature birth, anxiety, agoraphobiaand a long fight against alcoholismsomething he himself revealed in several interviews over the years.
The singer achieved worldwide fame after his participation in The X Factorwhich led him to be part of One Direction. However, despite the successes, his personal life was plagued with challenges. He faced problems of mental health, anxiety and alcoholismespecially after the band’s breakup in 2016. This transition marked the beginning of a very difficult period for him, as he confessed, during which he had to enter rehabilitation on various occasions.
In 2023Payne’s health problems intensified with a serious kidney infection which led him to be urgently hospitalized in Italy. The seriousness of this situation forced him to cancel his South America tourinterrupting his professional plans. In July of that year, in a video published on YouTubethe singer spoke openly about his mental health and the criticism he received from the public, as well as the tensions with his former bandmates.
As a result of these pressures, he decided to enter a wellness clinic in the United Stateswhere it happened 100 days treating his alcohol addiction and looking for a way to slow down his life so he can recover. “Until that moment I was in very bad shape and I was very happy more than anything when I arrived to put a stop to my life and my work,” he confessed.
Despite having achieved periods of sobriety and having tried to regain control of his life, Payne recognized how complicated it was to adapt to life after his time in One Direction. His emotional ups and downs and the weight of fame left deep scars on his well-being, something that he himself shared in different interviews.
The alcoholism of Liam Payne began during the most intense years of One Directionwhen the team that managed the band kept them locked in hotel rooms to guarantee their safety, the artist had stated. This occurred due to the great popularity of the group worldwide. That is why the singer assured that, in that context, he found refuge in the rooms’ minibar, beginning to drink alone.
“And what is there? ¡Minibar! So I just thought: ‘I’m going to drink alone’ and that stayed with me for many years of my life,” he confessed. Furthermore, the singer described how the lack of freedom affected his well-being: “From the outside it seemed like we could do whatever we wanted, but we were locked up. We would go from the car to the hotel, get on stage to sing and then go back to the confinement, and when you are a teenager you need freedom.”
As he highlighted, this lack of personal space and the constant pressure of fame led him to use alcohol as an escape route to deal with daily frustration.
Over time, the situation worsened, and in 2016After the band broke up, the singer went through a particularly dark period. In his participation in the program Ant Middletonconfessed that loneliness and pressure led him to consider the idea of taking his own life: “Judging by some things that happened, I’m lucky to still be here. There are times when that level of loneliness makes you wonder, ‘Will this ever end?’ “That almost killed me a couple of times.”
The intensity of his public life, combined with the isolation he felt when the lights went off, made alcohol become a refuge to cope with the situation. In an interview with GuardianPayne elaborated on the experience of being left alone after concerts: “Playing in front of I don’t know how many thousands of people and then staying alone in the hotel in a country where you can’t even go out anywhere. What are you going to do? The minibar was always there.”
Added to this was that he was taking medication originally intended to treat epilepsy, which in his case worked as a mood stabilizer, helping him manage the emotional ups and downs he faced during his time in prison. One Direction. However, this drug also affected their cognitive ability in the face of certain types of lights. “I needed help to stay stable. There were times when under certain lights on stage or during an interview I wasn’t even able to say my name,” he confessed.
In an interview with GuardianPayne explained how this medication was part of his struggle to maintain emotional stability, although it was not enough to deal with the loneliness he felt while on tour. This treatment was combined with alcohol, which he resorted to to cope with the long hours of isolation between concerts. “We would do a show in front of thousands of people and then you would stay alone in the hotel in a country where you couldn’t even go out anywhere. What are you going to do? The minibar was always there,” said the artist.
The decision to put a stop to the whirlwind of his life was difficult, but necessary. After the dissolution of One Direction, Payne He was in therapy for two years and spent six months resting. It had been eight years, since he was 15, when he first introduced himself to The X Factorworking without pause. This period of reflection allowed him to begin a path to recovery.
In 2021the singer revealed in the podcast The Diary of a CEO that he had taken a turn in his life: “It was like a few photos of me on a boat and I was like swollen, and I call it pills and alcohol face. My face was like 10 times bigger than it is now. And I just didn’t like it very much, so I made a change.”
In an interview with the media The Sunthe singer confessed that during his years in One Direction he dealt with serious mental health problems: “Going out and putting that happy smile on my face and singing the songs, honestly, sometimes it was like putting on one of those costumes, going out and, underneath of the costume, people don’t really see what’s going on.”
The thing is, while millions of fans cheered him at concerts, Payne was facing a crisis. “I shouldn’t have been able to do as many shows as we did, if I’m honest about it, if I’m brutally honest about it.”
In 2015, after his breakup with Sophia Smiththe singer was deeply impacted: “I let it affect me that day. I wasn’t in a good moment. “Unfortunately, I was going through a tough time and I let it get to me too much.” He even noted that the band’s frenetic pace didn’t help: “The more we did it, I don’t think we stopped to celebrate how good everything was… It was like, ‘Oh, you just won three EMAs, but get on the plane and go to the next place.’”
In addition, the artist assured that he had been diagnosed with “a couple of mental health conditions” that deeply affected his life. In a video shared on his instagramthe singer admitted that he felt “super low” at certain times, something that compromised his sobriety. In that sense, he explained that, due to the help of specialists and the tools he learned during his time at the rehabilitation clinic in USAI could recognize these episodes of low mood.
What’s more, he spoke of what he described as “manic” moments, which in the past led him to lose control over his addictions. He explained that he had recorded several videos talking about his experiences, but never felt ready to publish them, until now. “I don’t know if this is the right time, but I’m trying,” had confessed the singer, who struggled with these problems since the hiatus of One Direction. This revelation was an attempt to appear vulnerable to his fans and make it clear that appearances can be deceiving.
The singer mentioned that one of the biggest challenges he faced was finding emotional balance in his life. Although he had felt supported by his close circle, he acknowledged that many times the people around him could tell when he was not well, even before he accepted it himself. “I have wonderful people by my side, but I’m sure they can also see when I’m just not really here,” he said.
“I realized that blocking my feelings for so long made me sick and made me explode,” he said, highlighting that, after his experience in rehabilitation, he had understood that it is vital to “notice, allow the emotions to pass and let them dissipate.” , instead of trying to hide them.
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